🌧️blue characters!

mantaradio:

memorycycle:

dmv: can i have you birth certificate

me: i dont have it but you can trust! 😁✌️

dmv: ok! 😁✌️here is your license

me: its so small and cute! 😳

dmv: just like you! ☺️

can’t get an algorithm like this on twitter

fairycosmos:

parents are so crazy because they can say the most fucked up shit to you when your brain is forming and it sets the tone for your whole adult mind set and then they forget about it the next day

coughloop:

coughloop:

yo momma carries slugs in her pockets

Two for one special going on in the replies

tench:

chimpanzeedotcom:

chimpanzeedotcom:

> le mourns something I will never have

sawasawako-archived:

sawasawako-archived:

i like songs that you need to break in, like new shoes

it might not be hitting for you the first few times, but by the 8th listen it’s like, so good

methed-up-marxist:

It drives me insane how many people dont realise how often they break the law and that if the full force of it was ever applied life would basically be unliveable. Like between traffic violations, petty workplace theft, account sharing and piracy alongside how common it is to have been in posession of some illegal drug at some point in your life. People still manage to get away with thinking “criminals” are people who commit crimes not just populations that are surveilled enough to be routinely prosecuted

charlottan:

bartender who serves a drink called the 9/11 in a world where the twin towers are perfectly intact and nobody understands what it means. and then the creature attacks you

Anonymous asked:

just had first gay sex a couple days ago... wow...

cowboy:

Beuaitufl stuff isn’t it

petr1kov:

these two gifs are by far the best thing that came out of midsommar

itzitxou:

He just woke up and now he is the only one left to save the world.

Also he’s very tiny 🤏

deathgasmic:

i will not lie, friends in my phone, i have been imagining affection from time to time

dross-the-fish:

“I will work at your destruction, nor finish until I desolate your heart, so that you shall curse the hour of your birth.”

Adam stop bullying that twink….